


Misunderstandings

by wolfdancer333



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Chapter 686: Death & Strawberry, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Not Canon Compliant - Bleach Chapter 686 - Death & Strawberry, Not Happy, Post-Chapter 686: Death & Strawberry, Sad, Soulmates, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 12:44:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15606570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfdancer333/pseuds/wolfdancer333
Summary: Rukia has always been able to understand everything about her life. Until the night she realizes she actually knew nothing at all. One single misunderstanding changes everything.....But is it enough?





	Misunderstandings

**Author's Note:**

> One day, I won't write angst for this pairing. I swear!

Ichiruki – Bleach – Monthly Challenge – Week 2 – Day Five  
Misunderstandings

The worst thing in the world is feeling like you know everything, think you’ve got it all figured out, only for your world to crumble down around you in flames and ashes when you realize that, inevitably, you knew _nothing_ at all. Angry, heart breaking tears dusted the corners of her eyes, hanging off her lashes like dew on thin, black leaves suspended over alabaster cheeks. Her eyebrows curved over her violet orbs, drew together in the middle of her forehead. Small lips were set in a firm line, one corner tilted downwards. 

Her usually bright violets were dark and nebulous, shifting between hurt and betrayal laced with pain. Her long, wavy black tresses gleamed from the light of the waxing moon that fell in rivulets of white light onto the ground from between gray clouds. Stars twinkled above, diamonds shining through the darkness of night that had fallen over the sleepy and quiet Karakura Town. She grit her teeth, jaw grinding against the stabbing, sharp pain that burst inside of her every time she took a breath. Her chest was tight and her heart ached, hurt a bitterness that lodged in her throat. Her hair curled nearly down to the backs of her calf’s, the ends swaying at the gentle summer breeze that rustled over the front yard where she found herself.

A modern two story home lie to her right, lights out, quiet and dark. She knew the layout; she’d been here in the dark many times and she knew the walk to the bedroom with her violet orbs closed. Her black haori was crushed tight in the white knuckled grip of the man before her. His hands trembled against her chest, her haori – she was without her Captain’s robe tonight because this wasn’t a business visit – clutched in the broad hands that had gripped her hips and left bruises, the fingers brushing and igniting a fire inside of her that left her wanting more. 

The zeta she wore dangled off the ground from his grasp, her small white hands – rough and not all dainty or demure from her years of wielding a sword – digging sharp, blunt nails into the lean, defined arms attached to those hands she knew so well. Those arms had shielded her, protected her, carried her, and held her. She had dug her fingers into those arms many times before – in worry, in fear, or even in anger – leaving behind welts as his body moved above hers in the blue sheets she knew lied on his bed, the sheets where his wife had called his name less times than she had. 

They didn’t have sex or make love…..They _burned_. Whenever they touched or their gazes met, fire seared up from within them and even when he was thrusting into her, skin on skin, the fire only grew. Together they soared until they crashed into a tangled heap of limbs and molten fire. Those wide shoulders had been layered with kisses by her lips in the darkness of the night, the moon their only witness. The nicely defined neck had been bitten in moments of dark desire, the sound of his passion as his hips met hers delicious and sinful all at the same time.

His jaw and those lips – set in a firm, harsh scowl and one she had dearly missed – had a map to her body and they knew all the places to make her beg for him. That orange hair was tousled from the no doubt restless night he had been having – she had, too, and thus her visit to him who she knew had been waiting for her – before sensing her approach. Not even having made it to the front door before it was thrown open, he had rushed out and suddenly, her heart had sparked to life. Somehow, he spurned her to run into his open embrace, arms closing over like iron bars as he lifted her up and slammed his lips down onto her own.

Kissing Kurosaki, Ichigo was sinfully addicting, burningly passionate, and all consuming. He devoured every part of her when his lips slid sensually, roughly, against her own. His warm tongue thrust against her lips, pushing them apart and delving into her soul. He took all of her, everything she offered – and she offered _everything_ , always – and devoured it. His tongue was like hot silk that brushed against the roof of her mouth, tasting her as if she was sweet honey he would never be able to part from. 

Running his wet tongue to her own, he tangled with hers, moaning when she thrust back. This fighting was different for them. They fought – …...used to…. – all the time but this dance and this battle was different for both of them. It was different because they had warm beds and kids that with each flick of his tongue and gasp from her they were ultimately destroying. Rukia had never thought she would be kissing the man she loved – the man she told herself she _didn’t_ love – while his wife was visiting Tatsuki with their son – _their son_ , who looked up to Rukia and called her oba-chan and picked purple irises for her because they resembled her eyes. 

She was pretty sure she never would have thought she would have married her best friend – why couldn’t she love him like he wanted? – and give birth to Ichika only to kiss Ichigo in the shadow of what could have been. Poor, sweet Ichika who would never know the meaning of her name and why it sounded so much like her oji-chan with orange hair who always tickled her until she was gasping for breath. But Renji? Renji knew. He had always known. When Ichika had been born and her name given, Rukia had met the eyes of the man who had never abandoned her and loved her, and all she had seen was his heart breaking. 

No matter how many times she promised herself never again or that she didn’t love the man with his fingers buried in her hair and his tongue tracing her lips softly like they were flower petals, she couldn’t make herself believe it. For fucks sake, she was so tired of _lying_ to herself. Her eyes had welled with tears and, as he always could, sensing her turbulent emotions, Ichigo had parted from her mouth, panting into the summer air with his bare chest heaving. Brown irises dark with desire but burning a liquid amber, she had felt herself shatter.

All the times they had done this, all the memories they had built only to lose them, the last 10 years of lonely crying and pining and yearning, all of it suddenly slammed into her, wrapping her up in a heavy blanket of despair. Her gut shuddered and then she had uttered the words that would break not only her heart but his. 

“I can’t do this any more….” Her voice was as quiet as a butterflies wings but he heard her, he always heard her even when she said nothing at all.

His parted lips had closed, eyebrows furrowing as she saw the truth of her words hit home. He stared at her as if she had run her sword through him. And maybe it would have been better if she had. “Can’t do what, Rukia?”

Voice rough and heavy with passion, she shivered despite the warmth of the night surrounding them as she had looked down at the grassy lawn instead of meeting those eyes that could read her soul. It was time to end this, for both of them. It was time to break both of their hearts and end this game of lies. 

It was another lie but she forced herself to believe it, ignoring the way her mind repeated the way he said her name like a revered, cherished prayer. “This…..” The tears had stung her eyes then, pain lancing her heart like a well aimed javelin. “Us.”

“There never was an us.” 

The words hurt and she winced, convincing herself this was okay, this was right – shoving aside how wrong it felt, how her heart screamed at the words spilling from her bruised lips. “Right. Of course not. My mistake.”

Her mouth was dry and she couldn’t hide the bitterness from her voice when she spoke, shoulders tightening and hands balling into shaking fists. “Because I’m the only one.”

She knew she had said the wrong thing when his reiatsu – warm and bright like the Sun and she tried not to cry as she realized this would be the last time her soul met his – arced upwards, drowning them both in his anger and frustration. She ignored the pull of the tingle she couldn’t name reaching out to her and tucked her own reiatsu inside – it screamed and wailed and cried for his, pulsing in tandem with his own. 

“…..The fuck you were. Don’t you dare make this about you, Rukia. We are both at fault. God fucking damn it, what the fuck are you talking about? Us? Mistake? What do you think this is? Why do you think I –“

He stopped abruptly and the tingling became a gentle rush, like an ocean wave meeting the sand of the beach, urging her to understand. She refused, pushing back her tears and drawing on the anger that always bubbled in her gut. Snapping up dark violet orbs, she met his heated glare and set jaw as she growled out, “This is a mistake, Ichigo! We-We went separate ways, we have kids! Orihime loves you, and if she knew we were – That I – I can’t pretend that it’s all okay. We…..There never was an us. And it’s time we faced the truth.”

A large hand suddenly shot into his hair, brushing through the orange strands and Rukia had to dig her nails into her palms to keep from reaching out and doing the same as his glare hardened and he snarled viciously, voice rising. “Truth? Are you even fucking listening to the shit pouring out of your mouth? So, what, did it all mean nothing to you?”

He swallowed thickly and she saw his chest, heaving and panting, tighten as his voice deepened, tainted with that emotion she couldn’t – _wouldn’t_ – name. “Do _I_ mean nothing to you?”

She opened her mouth but nothing came out. One word, one single word was all she had to say and this, all of it, everything, would be over. All she had to do was say yes. But she was just so tired of the lies. Her lip trembled, wet and swollen from his heated kiss, as the tears prickling her eyes burned. She blinked quickly to brush them away. 

What came out wasn’t yes. “You married _her_ , Ichigo. You have sweet Kazui and….” The pressure behind his eyes grew hotter and she could feel her body shaking, drawing her arms around herself to keep from falling apart though it was far too late for that. “You….You don’t love me.”

Even the cicadas and the buzzing of the insects stopped as a heavy silence descended over them. His silence was answer enough and she had turned to flee, the tears finally coalescing at the corners, when Ichigo had grabbed her so fast she hadn’t even managed to turn completely. So here she was, caught in his grasp and suspended above the ground, staring at the man she loved. Hating him would be easier but she couldn’t do that and she knew it. His baleful glare melted into something softer, hands loosening their grip on her haori.

His jaw tightened and the ghost of a smile crossed his lips. “I should have fucking known you would misunderstand, midget. You never were the brightest. Oblivious to everything. But let me tell you somethin’.”

He leaned closer then, his hot breath caressing her flushed cheeks and she felt shame wash through her at the tightening of her belly, the warmth that pooled, hot and heavy, inside of her. “You aren’t the only one.”

She blinked, remembering her earlier words before she barked out a hollow laugh. “See? All we’re doing is running around in circles, Ichigo. For what? For a fuck? We’re destroying the people we love, _our families_ , for what? Tell me what we’re doing this for!”

She slapped his loosened hands away, dropping onto her sandalled feet with a soft thud onto the dewy grass. At the hurt she knew that lined her dark blue-black pools, Ichigo’s reiatsu reached for her, wrapping her in his suffocating heat. His eyebrows furrowed as his back straightened, pulled taut and firm. He snorted, almost in disbelief, but there was a bitterness in his own voice like sandpaper dragging across her skin. “So you love Renji, then? You fuck him and don’t think he was me? You still don’t get it.”

Her heart burst into life at his words, something light and airy almost resembling hope if she could remember what that felt like, enveloped her. Instinctively, she took a step back, her heart pounding. He followed, stalking forward slowly until they were breathing the same air and she was forced to tilt her head back to look up at him. 

He stared down at her, expression hard and unrelenting. She ignored the painful squeeze of her heart as those tears built at the corners of black lashes. “What is there for me to misunderstand? I love Renji, he’s my best friend.” 

He didn’t give her a chance to finish, the strength of his words making her anger build at how he knew what he was saying was true and no way for her to deny it. “But you don’t _love_ him.”

Her orbs darkened and she growled out through her teeth, voice sharp and as cold as her Bankai. “Shut up! What do you know, Ichigo? Where have you been for the past 10 years? Fucking off with Orihime, _Orihime_? The girl you said was,” Here, she made angry air quotes and for a moment, Ichigo’s lips twitched in amusement. “Just a friend. So don’t you _dare_ judge me! You don’t know – _You_ are the one who doesn’t understand! You weren’t there when I lost my shit because all I wanted was to see you! I-I didn’t want it to be like this so please, please!”

Her head flew towards the ground to hide the tears falling from her tightly shut eyes, mouth open in an angry, painful shout that left her throat sore and heavy in the aftermath of the emotions choking them both. “Stop acting like I’m the only one whose heart was broken! Because I know you don’t love me, I know, and I –“

“I never said I didn’t love you.”

Everything stopped with those quiet, forbidden words that slipped from his lips and into her heart like a sweet poison, fuelling the hope in her heart with a fury that left her breathless. Mouth parted from her earlier shouts, her bottom lip trembled as she came face to face with Ichigo’s bare feet. They were red from the cold of the dewy ground despite the summer heat lingering in the air. Those feet were all she dared to look at as a thick, heavy silence descended over them. Her mind didn’t know what to think because there was no way…..He couldn’t have….He didn’t…..

A deep, quiet sigh and then his gruff, tense tone broke the thick silence with words that broke her heart but gave her soul wings to fly. “You never understood. And I wanted it that way. Cause you and I, Rukia, we are – look at us. Didn’t you fucking see it? God…..” His voice broke and she prayed, desperately, for him to stop talking, just stop….! “I love you, I fucking love you Rukia. And don’t you dare, for one second, think I have _stopped_ loving you.”

Glass pieces of what was left her fell to the grass at her feet as she cried out and would have fallen to her knees if not for the large, warm body that caught her before she could hit the ground. He held her to him, tight and solid, like he was afraid if he let her go she would run away. And she wasn’t too sure she wouldn’t. Her cries rang out into the quiet, tense night as her hands gripped at that scarred back she had left deep, grooved scratches on many times. Her chest pressed into his own, her heart silent and still she almost feared she had died again.

Those toned arms were like chains that held her to him as he crushed her small body into his own, his head buried into the crease where her haori had slid down from her neck and her shoulder. His nose was pressed firmly into that small curve where her neck melted into her shoulder, breath ragged as he breathed against her skin in tandem with the frantic beating of his own heart. It thundered in his broad chest against hers, thrumming his life into her in a wave of soul crushing, fervent tenderness that stole all her breath in a whirlwind of emotion.

Her cries became gasping sobs as her closed eyes burned, her heart a cacophony of emotion and feelings that were tender and so soft that her very soul ached at them coursing through her. Ichigo, the fool, poured his reiatsu over her, washing her in the truth of his words – as if she could doubt him – as she fell apart in his arms. When his own arms trembled, Rukia finally opened her violet orbs, blinking past the burn. The moon had travelled well into the sky, dark blues melting off in the horizon into a gradient of blues. The warmth of the Sun that held her did nothing to ease the coldness that gathered in her chest at the thought of leaving him. 

She knew the truth now and she had no idea how she was going to live with it. She muffled a snort as a small, half hearted grin slid across her lips, her cheeks sore from the tears that had left bruising scars in their wake only she would ever know. “Fuck you, Ichigo.”

His back and his chest vibrated with his deep, quiet chuckle before his breath brushed her neck as he spoke. “Do you understand now?”

“How can I forget?” Her whisper was grasped by the wind that rustled by, tangling in her long black hair and ruffling through his short orange hair. She glanced up at the strands and mumbled without thinking, “I miss your spiky hair.”

He tightened his grip, sinking to his knees with her still buried in his arms. Her hakama sunk to the ground as she held onto him, both of them holding tight and afraid to let go as he answered her. “I miss a lot of things, Rukia.”

The way his voice hitched on her name told her she didn’t need to ask to know what he missed the most. But a thought edged into her mind that she couldn’t shove away. She needed to know _why_. “Why….?”

The sentence trailed off, Rukia not sure how to phrase it, but Ichigo understood. He always understood her in ways she had never even known herself. “Why did I marry Orihime if I love you? There isn’t an easy answer to that, specially not one that won’t stop me from getting beat up by your short little legs.”

“You don’t mind them when they’re wrapped around your waist.” She snapped back and immediately regretted it the moment he tensed in her arms.

Before she could soothe him, he laughed. The sound rumbled through his chest and into her, washing away everything but the weightlessness she always felt near him. It was a sound she hadn’t heard often and her eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “No, I sure as hell don’t. Rukia…..”

Her name was but a whisper from his lips, drawn out like it was the last time he would ever speak her name and something told her it would be. Chest tightening, she leaned back, forcing his arms to loosen so her hands could fly up to his jaw. Glistening tears held fast to her lashes as she blinked up at him, pain etched into her soul. He leaned his jaw into her hands, a soft sad epithet of a smile plastered over his face. His gaze stayed steady on her face, as if it was all he needed to see, the last thing he wanted to see, but she let her eyes wander over all of him. When violet met brown again, neither of their eyes were dry. 

He swallowed, his adams apple bobbing quickly before he rasped out, “I love you so fucking much. I want you to be happy, Rukia. Because every god damn day you’re not with me, I –“

His eyes squeezed closed as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to find the words. When he opened those brown eyes she loved, she nearly drowned in them and she never wanted to come up for air. “You changed my world. Thank you, Rukia.”

She didn’t want to cry any more but oh Gods, the tears were clawing their way out of her eyes and her throat was burning and all she wanted to do was _cry_ for what could have been. Instead, she went to pull away from his grip, harden her heart so she could walk away. For the last time. 

His hands flew to her own cheeks, forcing her head back towards him as he mumbled, “I love you. And I wish that was enough for us.”

She had thought she knew everything, had it all figured out, but she truly knew nothing at all. Acidic tears fell from her eyes as she whispered, “Me too.”

He kissed her and then, finally, she understood.


End file.
